Is it too late to say Happy New Year?
As per my last few blogs, I'm sorry it's been a while since I've sat down and wrote anything but this post will explain why. I know this particular blog will differ from the rest of my content, due to it not being university related, but I think it's a topic worth talking about.
More than 3.1 million women across the UK take either the combined or mini-pill, but the amount who feel genuinely happy about this choice may be another statistic. Whilst I know many women, my friends included, who swear by their method of contraception, others, like myself, are at a constant battle of suffering the symptoms or potentially having a baby.
For me personally, I have been on & off methods of contraception since I was 16. Don't get me wrong, I am fully aware that no method will be 100% perfect, but there are some symptoms that really aren't worth putting up with. And if your other half makes you feel otherwise, they aren't the one x
The first method of contraception I tried was the injection, and let me tell you I would absolutely not recommend this (all recommendations are obviously off my own experiences). I'm not sure if this affected me in the way it did because I was still quite young and it was my first contraceptive experience, but, to put it bluntly, I suffered pure hell for three months. I had a continuous period for two and a half months, so you can image the unbearable pains that were part and parcel of this. In addition, I also suffered mega hormones to the point I lost a few friends and my boyfriend at the time because I was a borderline psycho. When u tryna hold down relationships and more importantly ya GCSE's this is the last thing you need sis.
Honestly, I had no real issues with this. I started taking the combined pill at 18, and did so for a year with no real problems or psychotic problems that I remember. It wasn't until I went for my annual check up where a Nurse realised I was at risk of having a stroke taking this pill because I suffer from migraines, that I had to switch. Mentally & physically, this pill agreed with me the most, but ya girl also doesn't wanna suffer a stroke in her teens (or any time like ???) so I had to let her go.
Well, what a journey this has been. After said stroke incident, the Nurse put me on the mini-pill and I had Deja Vu. Within only a few days, the horrendous periods and cramps came rushing back and I wasn't about to lose my current boyfriend over more psychotic episodes so I went back to the Nurse. And again. And again. Within two years I have been on about four mini-pills, and one way or another they've been a shit show. The first three were physical hell (also gained about 10000lbs and one nurse basically called me fat but we're not here to talk about that) and I am currently in process of coming off the fourth. My current mini-pill, Noriday, has probably been the best in terms of PMS. Typically, you're not meant to have a period with the mini-pill, but inevitably I have, but the pains are manageable and nothing compared to the injection hysteria. Mentally, however, it's been shit. Instead of it making me an emotional wreck, I became the opposite, emotionally flat. I have suffered periods where I feel nothing, no happiness, no real anger, no sadness, no crying (which if u know me is huge cus I'm a crier). I tried sitting it out, hoping it was just that week before ya period flatness, but the episode progressed and I had holidays and events coming up that didn't excite me in the slightest. More importantly, I have family, friends, a boyfriend and a bloody university degree that I have to make effort with and I just didn't care for it. I didn't want to make the effort, I didn't care if they were there or not, I couldn't care less about my work or results. This was such a foreign feeling for me because I'm usually so in touch with my emotions and a very emotional person...this was just the polar opposite to my norm. The first 'flat' episode occurred in summer last year, and whilst it luckily went away, it started looming it's ugly face again last month. Again, I tried convincing myself it'll drift away like the first time, but I've got tired.
Tired of sitting it out.
Tired of feeling flat and empty.
I don't have to feel like this, so I won't.
I have finally come to the conclusion that contraception isn't for me and that's the way it's going to have to be. I've tried the vast majority of them (I'm not having a rod in my arm and yes I even tried having an IUD fitted) and haven't been happy with a single one of them...unless I want a stroke.
I feel like the second you get into a serious relationship, taking contraception is just the done thing, right? I don't want a baby at this time of my life so it's just inevitable I'll take a pill at 7:30am every morning. Not anymore. Time to prioritise my mental health instead of worrying about putting a condom on (sorry Mum if ur reading this xx), and I'm so lucky that my boyfriend supports every decision I've ever made.
I hope this hopes at least one girl that's debating her contraceptive methods, because I know reading blogs surrounding this topic has helped me so much. But if you're having sex and not using a method of contraception,
Pls stay safe X